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EYE OF THE BEHOLDER "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder" but unfortunately the constructions of beauty are manufactured by all that which influences all our senses and makes a jigsaw of what we term as ideal . " All they see of me is the fact I am a fat , not my personality or what I am like inside ". was a sentence that came with all the tears in the world in medical consultation one morning from a 14 year old . This sentence triggered many instances I have encountered in medicine where people were victim to the classical modelesque image . We as doctors are asked to undo the many psychological complications that society itself creates . Being the black sheep . stigmatised by your own individuality whether you are disfigured , disabled , fat , short results in the great downfalls of society such as unhappiness , loneliness and subsequent fall from the hierarchy of the social ladder . Walking into a General Practice Surgery are people who struggle to fit Darwin's Theory of survival of the fittest . Your body image is how you see yourself; more importantly how you believe others to see you . This can say a lot about your mental and physical well-being . In 1947 The World Health Organisation defined health as " a state of complete physical . mental and social well-being . A negative body image can be related to low self esteem , depression , sexual dysfunction, poor health habits and in certain cases psychiatric disorders such as suicide. Suicide is a form of inadequacy of self image that is generally perceived as a taboo subject or weakness in a human being . Unfortunately , as is quoted in JB Priestley's The Inspector Calls " we are all responsible " . From childhood , in paediatric clinics and General Practice, parents bring their children who are slightly overweight in to see the doctor, taking blood tests and traumatising children to conform to what we ourselves as adults perceive as the ideal weight . In doing so we make children conscious of their own existence . Overweight children are taunted by adults " ahhh you're a bit podgy for your age or we cant lift you yet we can lift everyone else and don't eat ice-cream , have this low fat yoghurt instead ". Instilling these thoughts into our children results in the adult disorders we ignore . Doctors may be cruel when just telling patients " you're too fat , loose weight , without providing any method or explanation . In this day and age the risks of obesity and statistics have rendered society to be obsessed with thinness but what is not realised that in doing so we are increasing the subtle diseases that are far more difficult to manage such as psychiatric illness . Of course statistically studies have never been carried out but in the advent of modern medicine it is obvious to see that the majority of illness be it mental or physical result from unhappiness or are exacerbated by the society model we have today . The vast majority of social problems stem from loneliness , inadequacy , perceptions of self . As time moves on meeting your ideal partner becomes progressively more difficult as peer pressure and expectations become greater. shelflife. Neuroses of women and their biological clock sets in at the age of 25 or even earlier and ofcourse the hunt for a man starts and the desire for a nest and children . Single individuals are considered a failure if they are not attached or married and in their late twenties are socially isolated as most of their friends earlier in years have settled and have nothing in common in discussion . The argument of men are from Mars and women are from Venus is probably not far from the truth . Women are victims of the image that men are relied upon to provide security , love , commitment and everything that is desired by todays woman . The view of the Noah's Ark two by two syndrome shadows many individuals lives when the exhaustive search for a partner continues in some cases obsessively taking up most day to day activities . Many people will say your partner in life is dictated by fate but there are individuals who are perhaps fated to have a very difficult time attempting to find a partner or shall we say to tempt fate or persuade cupid . Dating agencies , lonely hearts columns all provide evidence of individuals whose aim in life is to have someone to share the subtle moments in life , and to provide happiness . At the risk of providing bad publicity to the male population , one has to state a fact of truth which is that men perceive women initially via visual stimuli and hence women are forced to " catch the eye " . Observation of women is interesting in that most will pander to the ideal man's vision of perfection , animal attraction with the shortest tops and hair quite obviously dyed blonde and disappearing skirts and all the trappings that magazines on hair , weight loss brings . Unfortunately in many instances happiness is dictated by your image and how the opposite will portray you . The opposite sex obviously has that programmable device notably known as society and the media . There stands the disadvantage that many of us have i.e. to compete with the image in your partner to be's minds eye .Where does this leave those who are fat , disabled , short etc … all those who are termed the " the unacceptable of society ". A ward full of patients with disfiguring surgery as one sees in a Maxillofacial Unit , one wonders cannot help but feel that in society they will be shunned having to wear veils and disguises to appear normal . What is " normal " ? One wakes in the morning to a face in the mirror and everyone of us would like to be someone else . The amount of time individuals will spend being someone else is phenomenal . The worlds of individuals will thus rotate around physical attraction and adorning themselves with makeup or masks . Through many consultations one will find women the victims of the men they love and adore unconditionally . " He wants me to be thin as opposed to I want to be thin " or else he has threatened to leave me . Peer pressure and the trophy girlfriend or wife is rife in society . Acceptance and somehow a model by the side of the man is something that most men fall victim to . Standards are set which are far higher these days . A prime example is the instance of the arranged marriage in asian culture where the 95% of advertisements will state that the male would like a " slim lady " . This is the complete opposite to the moghul fathers who deemed the voluptuous form to be desirable . Similarly , so from the curved figures of the pre Raphaelite paintings showing the form of the woman to be beautiful whatever it was . Now ofcourse to compound matters advertisements around you regarding plastic surgery where the perfect image can be bought by money . So is the world to be made up of false images and creations of surgeons who are benefiting from their handywork day by day . Never will they create a thin lady into a fat one . And why not ? Society will dictate the artistry of the surgeons knife and that side of medicine will flourish . One hopes we will not end with a millennium with barbie dolls . Dawn French and few other women have bought these issues our attention with mixed reaction from the masses .It isn't uncommon to note that many will wonder how Ms French is happy with the way she is and not only that " how could she be " . A few years ago the sentence " I am beautiful " from her bought amazement into those watching the programme . The main point here is that Ms French should be the role model for many of us as she has the courage to be who she is and not the fake image that the many of us would like to portray . Facades are a trick of human beings which are played with talent for each of us would like to be the other . The elderly know no boundaries of image and when one is incontinent , impotent , with wrinkles from head to toe , who will care about makeup , appearance . The only thing one has to rely on then is personality and the human being . As long as the most photographed women such as Elizabeth Hurley or numbers typically thin , long haired perfect goddesses does imply the vision of beauty that is projected onto peoples minds as to what is deemed attractive and what is not . Vanessa Feltz classically reduced her weight because her husband left her to belong or to want to belong . Although the media has taken advantage of this, it merely sets a precedent for women wishing to be classically thin because it is associated with " love attention , happiness and everything that a human being ought to have " . It is probably time that we had different role models in society such as disabled individuals all those we have shunned from society whose lives are shadowed by unhappiness and darkness . Life is something to be cherished and the world is a beautiful place with many different individuals . It is the individuality of the human being that provides the world with colour . In sickness and in health one should be accepted and respected . Disabled individuals , and many of us who do not fit into this world 's so called jigsaw should not be made to feel that we do not belong . We are all waiting to die and no one will care when all is dust . This is the reason why life should be lived with each day used to be who you are and what you are not what you pretend to be . Society will only change if we as human beings change our perceptions of beauty because we are all beautiful , just in different ways . Dr Rita Pal
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